2003-12-12 - 6:03 p.m.
Hey, maybe I'm alright after all...
Y’know, the first time I made the attempt at university (may eons ago), it was a complete disaster. I had worked long and hard to get into the programme (Contemporary Dance), out of approximately 100 applicants/auditions only 16 were accepted, and I was one of the lucky few. It was an ego boost let me tell you. But I couldn’t do it. Too much pressure? Too young? Too oh-my-god-what0anm-I-doing? I dunno, but I didn’t even complete my first semester. I found myself having anxiety attacks every time I approached the front door to the dance wing. Sweating palms, pounding heart, dizzy feeling and a complete inability to get my body to go through those doors. It was just awful.
Now, (many eons later) I look forward to the challenges that my classes bring me. Don’t misunderstand me, I still sweat it out, but in a more positive manner (uh… besides the freaking out at my computer or my Dearest One when I am *way* stressed out. Or when I’m taking a media and technology course that I understood nothing about. Never mind that:) Even the tough courses give me a sense of satisfaction when I complete them and do well. I look at my transcript today and see 13 A’s. 2 of which are A+s. It is near impossible to beat the feeling of seeing that I can tell you.
I have registered for yet another on-line course (this will be my fourth. Man I love them, I can do my stuff whenever I want. Pretty cool). This is an interdisciplinary course, not too sure what that means, but it’s about HIV/AIDS. I think it’s a mix of communications, sociology and possibly applied human sciences. Anyway, it’ll be interesting, no doubt about that.
I feel pretty good about my scholastic career. It kinda just dawned on me that I am doing something that I seem to be pretty good at. Maybe I need to remind myself that I am doing something pretty big here and I should be proud of what I have accomplished rather than berating myself when I feel stuck or that I can’t do something school related. I need to not slave drive myself so much, (riiiight. That’s gonna happen, eh?). Anyway, it’s a good goal, right? :)
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2005-01-19 - 09:54 a.m. Marcionites vs. orthodoxy {$d_entry}
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2005-01-19 - 09:54 a.m. Marcionites vs. orthodoxy {$d_entry}
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2005-01-09 - 10:16 a.m. A list of complaints {$d_entry}
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2005-01-05 - 10:17 a.m. Quick update {$d_entry}
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2004-11-17 - 7:37 a.m. Mother's guilt {$d_entry}
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